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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Win no matter what it takes...

Well, I am not sure how to write what I am feeling right now. Today has been a very tense day for me...actually it has been a tense few weeks. I have been working for a program that has MUCH different philosophies about how to uplift and encourage students to be all that they can be. I was told today that "I am not the one that can help them obtain their goal" that they would be bringing in two other directors and that I was welcome to work alongside them. The women that they are replacing me with are VERY talented and I have no doubt that they will create the colorguard that the band staff want...but I just don't feel like me working with them will work out. So I declined their invitation to remain at AF.
I have been working for a program that believes that you must win no matter what...and I just don't believe in that mentality. The past few weeks have been so awful and I have never had a job were I felt like I could lose my job if the colorguard was not clean enough. Really there is so much more to this whole thing...and I will spare you all the long story. I don't think that I have ever been so disappointed with my co-workers (well, maybe except for *****n) and their lack of Integrity or decency towards another human being. So as relieved as I am that my nightmare is FINALLY over, it didn't have to happen this way. In fact I can think of about a million other ways that this could have ended and the right thing could have been done. Needless to say that I have ZERO desire to ever teach colorguard again. You are not paid enough to have to put up with this kind of inhumane treatment. I will say this though, I will miss the girls...even the ones who made my job hard, and for the girls sake I hope that they have a great season...you girls deserve that, you are good kids, who work hard, and I just pray that the new directors will keep that in mind as they (the band staff) try to win that ever important trophy.
I KNOW that I am a good director...my confidence of that has not been shaken due to all of this. I simply wanted to help instill in young people, the same love and passion that I ONCE had for this sport. So the staff was right... this was a wrong fit......FOR ME. We both wanted two VERY different things and I hope that it was worth the price that they were willing to pay.
Here is the best news of all...when I told my children that I wasn't going to teach colorguard anymore they all squealed with delight! They are looking forward to having a full time mom again.... and so am I! :-)

******Name was removed because this individual thought that I was casting him/her in a bad light, to this person I say "the truth hurts doesn't it!"

15 comments:

Donna said...

Sorry it was so ugly!

Bri and the Gregster said...

RB!!! I also am glad that you get to be a full time mom!!! I miss you already!!! dont go crazy if i stalk you! You know though, as much as this sucks im glad i had you there with me! atleast you get to have a fantastic birthday now!
OH... You did a GREAT job! someone needed to tell you that!!!!!

lvs2dance said...

Thanks Bri...but I couldn't have done it without my fantastic sidekick! We are a good team and I know that we have made a difference in the lives of the girls that we have taught, both there and at Riverton. YOU did a great job too! I love ya!

Amy said...

Jenny, you are the most sincere, honest, hard-working, dedicated person I know and I really can't believe that my little high school could be SOOOO cruel. It really makes you look at things differently doesn't it? I am so sorry for you, but I'm with the kids, it's going to be nice to have you home more, and to have you available more. Yes, I with Bri, Happy Birthday, honestly what a great present. I just wish it could have been handeled differently, JERKS!!!

Hang in there okay, love your guts.

DaNce tO ThE MuSiC said...

wow jenny i'm so sorry to hear about that!! you are a freakin amazing coach! i miss you so so much! and af has lost big time by loosing you!!! i cant believe that winning is all they care about. it would really bug me when they would take 1st place at our comp.s and they would act like it was really no big deal. we totally deserved to win! but oh well!! i am happy that you will be able to spend all your time with your kids. it will all be great!! i love you and miss you so much!! your the best love always your little mckenna!!

Tara said...

Jen,
YOU ARE TOTALLY AMAZING!!! And I am so proud of you for standing up for what is right. And here is our YIPPEE with the kids!!
It's going to be great!
And man, reading the other posts I had to check my calendar, I was thinking, oh crap, I missed her birthday. But to my delight I see that it is not until Sunday, so I still have a chance to call you before or on your birthday, whew!
Love, love, love you!!!

Beverly B. said...

Everything happens for a reason. You have so much to give to the sport and now must not be the right time or the right place. I'm so sorry that things got so terrible. Situations like that are toxic. It must be a big relief now. I think that you are wonderful and I hope that you and your family will be blessed with this gift of more time together.

Super Angie said...

*HUGS*. Jenny...you are such an awesome person with a huge heart. I love ya!

bock bock bock

Court n Chad said...

Wow, that is unbelievable. I'm glad that you can have some relief and that you get to be home with your kids. Of course I think you are amazing, and I am sad to see the Colorguard world without JennyLynn...

Kirstin and Brett's Family said...

Glad to hear its over even if it wasn't the best way out... I know your kids reaction were the same as mine were to teaching piano.. maybe we can see each other sometime now that we are just HOMEMAKERS again.. What a role to play! We definitely aren't given enough credit. I hate when I have to mark Homemaker on things because I know some people believe that their work title is so important. I believe that women who stay home with their kids are so important to what their kids become. Working mom's can do it too, it's just different... Love ya (as a friend of course) & hope to see you soon.
Happy Birthday - Sept. ROCKS!!

sadie said...

Jenny!
i love you sooo much, i look up to you and admired the integrity that you have. i'm also so sorry for being one of those girls who made your job difficult but now that i see what has happened i'm sort of happy in a way that i quit because i would've anyways. you are so beautiful inside and out jen, i'm so glad that you will never let your self esteem weaken because of others. you've been a great example in my life and influenced me tremedously i hope you know how much you mean to me :)
love ya!

Nate and Chelsea said...

Hey Jenny. I know how it feels to have to leave kids that you love and a profession that you adore. I was honestly a little surprised when you took the job working for AF. Not because of your talent, because you are WAY more talented than they deserve, but because of the "Winning is everything" mentality there. That was why I LOVED teaching at WJ, because while it is nice to SOMETIMES be rewarded, my kids (and staff) always knew that the best trophy was improving their own performances. I KNOW what an amazing coach/teacher/MENTOR you are, and I know that you will be better off for having had this experience. (Though it might suck now) I am SOOO glad that we had the experience together that we did all those years ago at "band camp" :) Miss ya chicky!

Deedee said...

Jen, there isn't much I can add to the comments so far. They are all true...just know that you can be proud of yourself for doing the best job you could. You are full of talent, honestly, commitment,love, and integrity... You did what you needed to and you should feel proud of yourself. In the end that is all you have to worry about!
I'm proud of you.
Love, Deedee

RBS said...

To my darling daughter,
what joy I have being able to claim you. I have never had any doubts about your sweet loyal spirit. The world is a much better place because of you my little sissy. I am so very proud of you and your work ethic and integrity level. Never doubt the love that you Father in Heaven has for you. You have been very special from the very beginning, and it has been my pleasure to be your mom.
Love Mom

Amberly said...

I'm sorry. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. I'm sure it will all work out for you!